New Years Eve

     I don't make resolutions. I never have, and as this blog has proven over and over again I am terrible at setting goals. Even worse at sticking to them, and hardly ever accomplish them. Even though this really has been such a great year for my family, the last few weeks have had me stressed out and feeling negative. The great thing about this year is that it's done. I'm going to accept that it's over, and move on to next year. I'm going to forget all the negative things that I've been feeling down about and start the new year refreshed, with out goals, and with out pressure.

     Tomorrow I'm going to update my stats, post my pictures, and essentially start over. Not really, because I have worked hard these last few months. I'm just going to use the new year to refocus and concentrate on what I want to be doing and where I want to be and take it day by day.

     Happy new years eve and as always remember not to drink and drive! Be safe!!

Eff you Wii Fit.

     I have not been doing my best lately, I haven't even been trying. Since I got my Wii Fit for Christmas I've been steadily GAINING weight. Not huge amounts or even lbs but it is slowly going up and not down. I don't like that so starting today I'm back to making sure I stay in my calories and logging everything. I'm pretty good now with logging everything i eat but sometimes I go over my calories and it doesn't bother me but now i have to stop if i want to actually lose weight.

     I'm starting to redecorate upstairs, starting with the craft/reading room so I'll post some pics. I'm really excited I've never been able to design a room and have it just for me  and be able to buy anything i want or paint any color i want. It's going to be beautiful lol.

Merry Christmas!!

     Thanks everybody for for the well wishes yesterday! Christmas was a great day for me and my husband and Nina. My dad came over and I made a roast chicken and it turned out ah-maz-ing. (if I do say so myself!) So I have a pretty good day and now I'm going to go get my festive on (aka eggnogg - the eggnog + ryes n cokes) and watch The Grinch with Adrian now that the baby is in bed!! Merry Christmas everybody!!

It's Christmas!

     I went back and forth on deciding whether to post this or not. I don't want to post a depressing post on Christmas, when time with friends and family is supposed to be fun and exciting and full of happiness. Things aren't like that for us. My mom is an alcoholic and  our "relationship" is non-existent at best. I was so delighted and thought things were going to be good this year after she came over and spent time with Nina. She lives about a 5 minute drive away, and within walking distance but I only see her once every few months. This year since we had planned to go out of town she arrange to drive the 5 hours to my sisters house with her boyfriend. My sister told her there would be no drinking. She agree'd and I had faith that she would do it. She's going to see my sister, and my niece and she'd do it for them. Some kind of Christmas miracle or something. Maybe this would be important enough for her to follow through and stay sober. My sister called me at noon, totally devastated because my mom is a few hours away ( her boyfriends driving) and sounds completely wasted. She was going to tell her to turn around and just go home but it's not fair to her boyfriend or sadly, his son, who is also with them. I am NOT an advocate for drinking in a car driving or not. I think here in Alberta we could use much stronger drinking and driving laws. I've seen too many people get away with too much and not get any punishment. I've had an uncle, my moms brother, drink and drive and get into an accident and die leaving 5 kids behind. Two of which were under 10.

     I'm looking at Nina right now and I want this Christmas, and every Christmas, to be really amazing for her. It's her "first" ( last year she was only 6 months, she didn't understand) but my heart is breaking for my sister. She deserved to have a great Christmas with her family and not have grandma show up drunk. I wish there was something I could do to change the situation for her but I can't. My mom's made her choice and what's done is done. I guess all I can do is be available for my sister if she needs to vent it out, and all we can do as parents is put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay for the kids. It's easier for me with out having to physically be in the situation. I wish just once she wouldn't let my sister down. They don't see each other often, once a year maybe.

     I've written posts like this before and I usually delete them. I just need to vent and get it off my chest and I try to keep my blog as positive as I can for the most part. Even now as I'm wrapping up ( lol pun intended!!) I can't decide whether to save, publish or just forget I ever wrote this. With Christmas I want to be cheerful and happy for my family and every one around me but I feel like I'm being torn apart on the inside. I guess there's nothing that can be done now.

Okay Then.

     Things really seem to be turning around. Today is just such a great day. Today is my husbands 38th birthday!! Also I won a candle from an online giveaway, which is just SO much fun I've never won anything before so I am just stoked. I ordered some books a few days ago and some make up so I'll be receiving so much good mail the next few weeks.

     My mom came over yesterday and it was actually a good time. Not as bad as I was expecting I actually am really glad she came and spent some time (even if it was only half an hour!) with Nina. They opened some presents and mom played dolls with her. It was nice to see her being a grandma, I just wish it happened more often but what can you do?! I'm appreciating the time we had.

     As I said earlier in my post today is my husband, Adrians, 38th birthday. I haven't been feeling good today so I only ate a cheese string and drank a glass of juice so I think I'm going to order something for a special treat. Actually I could order just about anything and still stay in my calories for the day. Adrian wants pizza and wings so we'll see. I reallly want some ribs lol.

     So after yesterday I weighed in again today and I am back down to 158. This is starting to get annoying, but I'll take it.

Feeling discouraged.

     I weighed myself today and the scale said 162. I keep going back and forth and up and down and I keep trying to change what I'm doing and find what's working but it doesn't seem to work it's annoying. I am just annoyed. I thought it would be easier I guess. I just need to stop stressing and carry on with what I'm doing and eventually it will work but I am so impatient. I need to just not give up I guess, even though it's hard.

    On a more depressing note, my moms coming over tonight. I am not looking forward to that. Hopefully she doesn't bring her boyfriend, and hopefully she doesn't stick around long. Wish me luck.

Less then 1 week until Christmas!

     I am just so excited.  We`re not really having a dinner or anything special. We were going to go skiing but I think we`re going to opt out of driving on the highways Christmas eve & day and spend the time here at home since it`s Adrians only day off (Christmas Day). Nina is going to be so excited I can`t wait to see her opening her presents!  ( not to mention opening mine! even though they`re not a surprise :( ) Speaking of presents, my party Saturday was SO much fun even though I fell asleep. It was such a long day I was so tired. My secret santa was my friend Jenn and she got me the cutest little teapot and I`ve used it so much already. Drinking tea as I am writing this.

     So after Christmas is New Years (obviously) I`ve never made a new years resolution and I don`t plan to this year. I just want to carry on doing what I`m doing.  This last year has been amazing for me. Lots of changes, and lots of really great things have happened for us this last year and I`m hoping next year just gets better.

     I`ve still been tracking my food the last few days but it has been a little crazy and all over the place. I haven`t been training for my virtual 5 K at all I keep meaning to but I`ve been going crazy trying to get ready for Christmas and my party and everything so hopefully now that everything is finished with it`ll be a priority again.

     I did WI on the 17th like I had planned and I was down 2 lbs. Better then I expected but not as great as I was hoping for. Still I suppose it was just on track with what I am aiming for, 1 lb a week. At this pace it will wake me 1 year from my start date to lose 52 lbs so  I will still not be at my goal weight by June 15th ( my 1 year start date) I feel a little disappointed that it`s going to take so long. I expected to be dropping bigger numbers every week but the more weight I lose the slower is seems to be coming off so I think ( hope) that I can at least carry on at this pace, rather then stop losing all together lol.
 

Uh Oh!!

     My sister sent me a parcel yesterday with a ton of Christmas presents in it.( Thanks, sister!!) Hidden in the deepest, darkest corner was...chocolate... all kinds of chocolate...mint chocolate, chocolate caramels, chocolate covered raisins... I had a few ( & counted them, so it's not cheating!!) but now those chocolately temptations are hidden away in the cupboard. Unfortunately out of sight is NOT our of mind for this guy. I was doing so well I have no idea why these tiny little sweeties are giving me so much trouble lately. Sour Patch kids & M&Ms in my cupboard were bad enough but now I have such gooood chocolates. Testing my will. I'll just have to avoid them. I havent been thus far but I need to regain focus before I gain back all my weight in chocolate.

     Other then not WI, I haven't been sticking to my goals very well. I've had drinks a few times, I've been eating sweets and I haven't been running. Well that's not true, I have but not nearly as often as I should be. It's hard to find the time now. Not that that is a good excuse. ( I totally just had to google to see if double that is grammatically correct and did not find an answer so it stays! )

     We desperately need to go grocery shopping but thanks to Adrians work we have to wake the baby up and go in the middle of the night. Thank god for Christmas hours and most places are open 24 hours. It just sucks but we're running out of the basics we usually have stocked up.  I'm also having a girls night christmas party so I'm busy planning snacks and trying to make sure they're all healthy choices not only for myself (& ayla) but I kind of like to show that healthy cooking isn't necessarily boring or tasteless all the time. Not that my friends do think that.  I really have no idea what they think, but they've expressed interest in losing weight so it can't hurt!!

     I'm going to try and get in a run ( i just wrote nap lol) while the baby naps this afternoon. Wish me luck in staying away from the chocolates guys!!

Yesterday was a disaster.

     My dad never came, which I guess I'm sort of used to, and expected. We had an easy day at home anyways. I was looking forward to a little alone time since I don't  get too much of it. I don't mind though it just would have been nice is all. Oh well! My food was kind of all over the place I wasn't feeling good so I  skipped breakfast and had a huge lunch & dinner. Dinner was Chinese food since Subway was closed....clearly the best option. It's okay though it's nice once in a while but I'm not feeling as confident about my weigh in that is in 5 days. I'm bloated from my TOM and I had been doing so well with working out and food wise up until yesterday. Back to normal today though so hopefully it's not too bad.

     The horse ride was fun to start until Nina didn't want to wear her gloves or hat then she just whined and cried and threw things all over and at the very end just screamed and screamed. I felt bad cause I'm sure every one else didn't want to hear it but it's not like I had anywhere to go, I was on a horse buggy! I felt terrible though. She did love the lights though. It's hard to find holiday activities for us with adrians schedule now. As it is, he won't even see Nina until next Sunday night again. I feel bad cause he misses her. Sometimes he wakes her up in the morning so he can see her before work but then I have to wake up an hour early and it messes up her whole sleep patterns.

Yesterday was O-K.

     and by okay, I mean not my greatest day. I ate a shit ton of M&M's... those delicious little bastards. It's my TOM so I blame that, also to blame for my raging emotions. After my run yesterday I felt much better but I don't think I'll do much running today I feel like shit. So unfair. Nina was a monster after she woke up from her nap so we went for a walk too, and checked out some Holiday (read:Christmas) decorations & lights around the hood and got lost and took forever to find my way home. Not necessarily a bad thing, but my hands were real cold.

     Today my dad is coming to take Nina for the afternoon so I'll have a little bit of actual free time. Nice long bath with no listening for crying baby and being able to eat with out grunting. It's going to be amazing. Tonight we're going to Candy Cane Lane for a horse ride! (note to self: bring gloves) & subway for dinner. Man do I love subway.

     Even with the M&M fiasco I'm feeling better good about weigh in on Saturday. I'm not expecting anything amazing but some kind of loss would be nice.

Week 2...again.

     I'm feeling energized again today. I'm just holding out for Nina to take a nap and I'm going to start week 2 of the C25K. I'm really struggling with... emotions? I don't know. I feel happy, then sad, then angry just feel like I am losing my mind. I'm trying really hard to keep myself positive and not to sweat the small stuff but one minute I'm so happy and the next I'm just annoyed and cheesed off for no reason. I'll probably feel better after my run. I hope so anyways. I find that my whole day revolves around food. I'm either eating, thinking of eating, thinking about what I am going to eat or thinking about what I want to eat. I really need some kind of hobby or something, a way to distract myself because it's becoming really overwhelming and pretty obsessive. I'm probably just going stir-crazy from always being stuck inside the house. There's not really much for us to do lately it's so windy, even though it's been pretty nice.

     That reminds me I have to go see if i can reprogram my HRM for my new weight so my calories are more on track.

I am hungry... I think?

     Nina is napping so I'm taking a breather... bed time tonight is going to be a fight, that is for sure. Her sleep schedule is just way off now with our crazy hours here at home. Hopefully I can get her down at a decent enough time that I can work out tonight. I played Wii tennis the other day and my arm STILL hurts, I am such a wimp.

     I'm having some crazy mood swings lately, a few days ago I seriously could have punched myself in the face I was hating life and today I caught myself thinking how great my life is. I do not know what is up with that, but I'll chalk it up to PMS again. I also cried like a baby watching The Biggest Loser a few days ago... which is totally not like me!

     All day today all I can think about is FOOD. When I woke up until now it's just been on my mind all day. I want to eat eat eat. I'm going to start dinner now, cause I am sooo hungry omg. I think my hungryomeder is broken. Actually now that  think about it the baby just went to sleep so i'm going to have some tea and chill out until she wakes up and then start dinner. Tonight I'm making Shepard's Pie from Skinny Taste, this is seriously the BEST website. Everything I've tried from there has been SO amazing. Last night I made turkey zucinni burgers and I had another today for lunch. Her recipes never disappoint.

     Well off to enjoy my quiet time and then start dinner I guess. I'm hoping to find a good crock pot one for tomorrow! I might have to try that salsa chicken Katy!!

My 3 legged cat is giving me stink eye.

     I think he's plotting to kill me. So if I don't post again... you know what's up. It's been a lazy day here at home. The baby is napping. We were going to go for a walk when she woke up but she's been sleeping for hours and now it's dark out. HER LOSS IMO. Chill day here... I need to use my mini crock pot more often! It seems to have really taken all the work out of my day. I prepared my snacks/lunch(leftovers) and dinner first thing when I woke up and it really left my full day open to a lot of nothing. I want to say I wish we had better weather but considering it's almost mid-december it's actually fairly nice...

     I just heard a loud bang from upstairs and nearly pooped myself. It was just my razor falling off the wall. Woke the baby up cause I thought she might be dead... it's been almost 4 hours! She's alive.

     I (re)finished week 1 of the C25K today. With my calorie bump and getting back to the C25K I'm feeling really optimistic about my WI on the 17th.Last night Adrian and I played lots of Wii, bowling and tennis and I woke up sore today, how pathetic is that!! I think I need to start stretching in the morning, I'm starting to feel really stiff in my shoulders and back I don't know if it's just from the weather or what but I always feel a little looser after I stretch a little. Maybe I just need a long soak in my tub tonight!! Tomorrow I'm going to the gym with Ayla, then a little shopping!! I'll have to go to bed early tonight. I'll need to look for a new water bottle since Nina broke mine last week when I went to the gym.

     I'm going to look for some more crock pot recipes!! Any favorites from you guys!?

I can't think of a witty title.

     I woke up today feeling pretty energized. I have a lot of things I want to get done today, like clean toilets...ew. So I won't be working out today because I have a lot of things I want to get done around the house. Get everything in order for the next few weeks and it'll be easier to stay on top of. I feel like I'm getting ready for some kind of marathon. Actually, I kind of am! One - technically - I signed up for the virtual 5 K at http://www.theboringrunner.com/ in January ( don't remember the date, it's near the end) so it's great that I've started running again. Second maraton would be the months that are December and January at our house. The days really seem long and mashed together.

      I'm starting to get stir crazy with no where to really go.  Sometimes Nina and I walk down the street to look at Christmas lights. She really likes them. Today I asked Adrian to pick me up so I could go to the grocery store with him after work because I can't remember the last time I even left the house to do something... Yes I can, it was last Thursday when I went to the gym/shopping. Next Sunday though we're going to pack up the baby and go for a walk down Candy Cane Lane. I am thinking of registering for a sleigh ride but I don't think that we'll be able to make it there in time since Adrian will be working till 6. I'll just throw Nina in her wrap when she's tired. Omg I'm so excited she's going to love it so much.  I'll save some room in the calories for hot chocolate.

     Well...enough beating around the bush, and onto the serious stuff! I failed my no drinking for 17 days last night when I decided to have some drinks, but now I'll be back on track again... not that it really matters I guess. Not only did I fail at that but I really over ate yesterday and the day before, for no good reason. I know that my TOM is coming soon and I get really hungry before then, and I get reaaaaaaaaallly friggin hungry on days that I work out... but I have to start trying harder. I haven't WI though, mostly because I'm scared of what I'll see!

Mmm tea.

     Woke up "early" this morning, 9:30 am. Early for us anyways. Todays Adrians early day at work too! Well he'll  be home at like 7. "Early". Something I clearly do not know the definition of. So I'm sipping my tea and enjoying my slow, quiet, morning. Soon Nina will go for a nap and I'll get to finally eat breakfast.  BELT sandwich today. OR I could go for my run and then eat breakfast afterward. OR I could shower today. OR clean my house. Good thing Adrians off early today I might get to do two things! ( hopefully one is shower... it's been a while.)

     December is a horrid month for us. It's high season at the mall so Adrians there 9-9 Mon-Saturday and 11-6 on Sundays.  He only gets to see the baby Sundays, which makes both of us very cranky chicks. Worth it in the end I guess. With being a FLASM and it being dark 80% of the day it's just really depressing.  I'll  have to think of some stress relievers. What a month to give up drinking D: though I've so far stuck to it!

     I've started drinking Green Detox tea in the morning. It says it will make me feel like a new person! I feel ripped off though cause I feel exactly the same. Maybe I need something with a little more caffeine.

     OH! Besides not drinking, I've also stuck to my goal of not weighing in until the 17th! (so far) although now that I'm thinking about it I have the urge to do it lol.  I won't though!!

     I was looking back 5 weeks at MFP and what I wrote in my notes ( you'd weigh  - - - lbs in 5 weeks.) I'm not where MFP thought I would be. I'm not where I thought I would be. 5 weeks ago MFP was telling me I would weigh 155 point whatever in 5 weeks. NOW when I complete my entry it's still saying the same thing. I'm hoping my caloric changes will actually help get me there because clearly whatever I was doing, wasn't working. It's annoying to me that I keep saying it's "not working" but when I look at my progress I'm doing fine. It's just that I'm working so hard I want instant gratification mindset I guess. I just keep wondering what changes, what I need to do to lose more, or lose faster. Instead of that I guess I should just work on being happy with the progress that I am making and not worry about what I am not doing.

I'm going to blog for the sake of blogging.

     I really don't have anything of value to say today, just feel like talking.  Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was C-R-A-N-K-Y, and that is an understatement.  I'm going to go with a case of MEGA pms. Today I feel 1000% better. I ate two cookies I shouldn't have yesterday but I mean, c'mon. They're cookies, home made! and the first ones I've ever baked so I'm allowed.

     It's officially ( ok not officially, but it's snowing) winter here in Edmonton. Actually, I looked it up and the first day of winter this year is Adrian's birthday.  Our new house is sooooo dry I think I might just go ahead and buy stock in chapstick and body lotion because I'm going to drive up their sales. Does a humidifier help? I assume it would... being a humidifier and all.

     I have a bunch of plants in my TV room, but they've all started to die. ALL of them. I put one in the kitchen when we put up the Christmas tree and it's just come back to life. It used to just be a stick in the dirt, literally! Now it has bright green leaves and everything. I'll have to move the rest in here and see if all they needed was a little direct sunlight. They survived fine at our old place. I have no idea whats up with that.

   

So, I did a little configuring!

     On myfitnesspal, and I was set at trying to lose 2lbs a week which actually had me at losing 1.2 lbs per week since it won't tell me to eat under 1200/cals. I changed it to lose 1Lb/week and it bumped me up to 1300 calories a day, with 3, 30 minute work outs so a burn of just over 500 calories a week.

  As for calories, one thing I don't track is my alcohol calories. Which I know is totally cheating but I honestly didn't think it would make that big of a difference. Now that I'm really getting serious and wanting actual changes I think it's time to *gasp* cut it out completely D: not in the "Hi, my names Sabrina and I'm an alcoholic" sense but in the "Okay, mayyyyybe I don't need 3 glasses of wine before bed tonight" kinda way. I'll have to find a new hobby I suppose. Knitting, perhaps.

     Hopefully these changes help, but really I've been losing about a lb a week thus far so I really shouldn't be complaining. I guess we'll see how the progress is in 2 weeks when I weigh-in again.

I feel weird.

    Well, I'm going to start out with saying that I'm going to officially bow out of the Give Yourself The Best Gift Challenge. I wish all the other bloggers lots of luck though! I just feel like I need something fresh and it seems like it's gone on forever. I did enjoy it while I was a part but it's sort of time for me to move on, in a sense.

    I'm feeling really overwhelmed lately with the thought of the holidays coming and things that I want to do or things that need to be done. I feel tired all of the time. I really need to get back to the C25K but  I've been having a hard time feeling motivated which was what I was worried about when I had to stop but it is what it is. I keep saying tomorrow, tomorrow, next week, later tonight... and then I just never do. Never seem to have the time while having nothing but time. Well tomorrow is the last day of November, so let's hope with a new month comes new motivation.

     It gets dark so early now, I wake up these days and think wow another nice day.. We'll go for a walk today but by the time I get around to it, 4pm it's pitch black outside! Probably explains the lack of energy these days... seems to suck the life out of you when it's dark all day, every day.

     I've been sticking to 1200/cal a day, but I don't feel to be getting the weight loss I've been looking for... I haven't weighed in for about 2 weeks but I feel fatter then ever. I've been thinking of upping my calories but the thought of it really makes me... nervous? I don't want to gain what I've lost, but really it seems like I'm just maintaining as it is. I don't know... I wish this was easier.

     Lots of Christmas baking in the next few days, good thing I don't have much of a sweet tooth lol. I'm baking for our landlord and a family friend. Finishing up some last minute Christmas shopping tomorrow and maybe picking up a few decorations if I find anything interesting. Lifes boring these days.

I'm here...

     I'm not sure what it is, but I guess I just don't have much to say lately. I kept trying to push my body before it was ready and ended up being in a lot of unnecessary pain. My back is still sore, and I just got a tooth pulled so I've basically been living on painkillers and sleeping. I've been sticking to my calories and most of my  goals for my challenge sans weighing in cause I cheated once lol. Other then that I am feeling good, considering! I'm thinking next week is going to be get back on track week and I'm going to start the C25K and if my back is better the 30DS again.

     Well though of that. I've been sticking in my calories and I've been trying so many new, amazing recipes! I've definitely found a balance between loving to cook, and not having that cause problems with my eating and weight. I've been really good with planning my meals in advance, and even a day in advance now. Addicted to so many new teas but if I drink too much I'm up all night, which is another problem in itself.

     All in all though I'm feeling a ton of relief, less stress over all, feeling really good. I think I'm going to stick to not weighing in as often as I was before. I feel like I'm not a slave to the scale any more just take it as it comes. I was always bothered that I wasn't losing weight as fast as I should/could/wanted to?  but it's not really a priority right now. Right now I just want to concentrate on losing over all and not the amount of time that it takes.

     I know I've said a few weeks that "next week" was back to working out and back on track and blah blah blah but this time I mean it! I'd do it today but my face still hurts from my tooth removal but when the baby is down for a nap I might try and start the C25K. Now the only question is, do I start from where I left off, or just start over again!? I think I'll restart from the beginning just so I can take it a little easy on myself and since it's been so long since I have even been on my treadmill!!

Challenge update week 8

Last week was great! Stuck to everything I have planned and this week I am feeling 100% back to normal! Hoping for another great week. Not too much time though so I don't have much to say!

No day like a Monday!

     So I said I was going to start sharing my daily calories, and so I will! Fantastic. Now that I'm reviewing them, they're looking a little low for my liking. I'll have to make sure I add in more snacks this week.

Monday: 1036
Tuesday:  1021
Wednesday: 1120
Thursday: 1281
Friday:  1230
Saturday:  958
Sunday:  1181

Give Yourself The Best Gift Week 7!

     Wow! 7 weeks already! I can't believe it! As you can see, I've cheated and checked my weight today after breakfast. I swear I had a good reason for it! I'm officially down 20 lbs, and tomorrow morning will take my 20 lbs lost photo. I feel like I've been waiting forever. From here on out I won't check the scale again though, promise!!

     As for my action points, I've been doing well with the modifications. I've tried running but it didn't work out so I think I'll have to carry on with the mods for another week or so, and I'm okay with that now. Been doing great with cals, making much better choices, not eating out very often. Definitely no regrets thus far! I mean besides being a dink who fell down the stairs, anyways. I did try the yoga but it was not great so Monday night I'm going to try going to the gym with a friend and do some walking on the treadmill and Monday night I'm going to check out aquasize as my new thing. I've been drinking so much water and eating smaller more frequent meals soooooo everythings good here!

      Hope everybody else is doing good!!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!

      Everywhere but here anyways, snowing all over Alberta but not here. I can't wait for the snow. There's something so warm and comforting about being all snuggly and warm inside with tea when it sooo cold outside. Also, this weekend, CHRISTMAS DECOR GOES UP!! So excited, I can't wait. To escape the drama llama and have a happy Christmas with my husband and daughter we've decided to go skiing! So that is new and exciting. Hopefully I'll feel a letter better on Christmas then I did Thanksgiving.

     I tried to start back on the C25K today but only made it about half way through week 3 before I decided to call it quits. Now I'm regretting it because I am in pain, I started off so good and the walking was fine it was during the second set of running I was hurting and got pretty dizzy so I decided to stop. Tonight when Adrian comes home I'll just do a long walk with out the running. I'm starting to get really ancy, and I want to go back to running, I want to start my 30DS again. I just worry the longer I go with out being able to do it that I am going to  lose my steam, so to speak, but I also don't want to make my back any worse then it is right now. Maybe I'll google some injury friendly workouts... I don't know if it would even be possible. Still hoping for aquasize on Monday!

     Calories have been good, I don't know what the scales saying because I've managed to stay off of it thus far. So only 26 days to WI!!

So far, so good.

     I've been trying to get a little more mobile, hoping a little movement will help to loosen things up. The Stretching feels so good/bad first thing in the morning. You know the kind of stretch where it hurts but feels so good at the same time? That's how my whole body feels but it's starting to get a little better. Since I didn't make it to aquafit ( i thought it was Tuesdays, but it's Mondays lol!) I'm going to try a yoga video I have tonight. I've been sticking to taking some small walks, tonight gonna go for a bit of a longer one to pick up some stuff for dinner at the grocery store. I think next week on top of the C25K I might try and start over with my 30 day shred and see if I can make it through.

     I just spilled ice water on my legs. Chilly.  On the topic of water, Miss S was totally right! Drinking water from my favorite water bottle does encourage me to drink more. I drink SO much more! So that's going really well too. I've been trying so many new recipes from Skinny Taste and so far they have all been pretty delish. Also been helping me keep my calories at a decent number per meal. Tonight I'm making the lasgana rolls with a side salad for a grand total of 250 calories? YES PLEASE! I made Adrian hide the Halloween candy.It was just too good not to each. Gosh I love  me some milk chocolate. 

     So, overall I think I've been doing pretty good given the cirumstances. I'm feeling better and more positive then I was days ago and just wanted to say thanks to everybody who sent me well wishes and positive vibes! I really appreciate it all.

Give yourself the best gift Week 6.

I'm not going to bother with copying and chatting about each of my actions points this week. Really, I did the best I could given the circumstances. Yesterday I blogged about what I could do this week, if anything. I was going to give up and take a break. It's been a really stressful week and I didn't do as well as I could have, or that I should have anyways. My plan yesterday was to just take a break, for who knows how long and come back to blogging/calorie counting/working out when I had less stuff on my plate. I woke up this morning with a new perspective. I'm going to put more focus on me, eating, working out, ect and just let the other stuff be the unimportant stuff to go. I've lost 19 lbs and I haven't been trying my hardest. So now I will. i'm going to refocus and give 100% this time, and not 65% or whatever it was that I WAS doing.  So since it's the end of October, I am going to go a head and talk about my goals for this upcoming week and month and just let this last week go.

• 
  
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month. - For Novembers Goal, I have a few things I want to do. I want to make sure I drink 2L of water every day. I don't want to weigh myself for the whole month. I want to make sure I eat breakfast every day. their all sort of mini-goals so  something to work on this month for sure. 
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week. - Since this isn't a possibility for the foreseeable future, I'm going to just wake up and stretch every day, and try and take a short walk 3 times a week (given it doesn't snow lol) Since I am already feeling a little better, just battered and bruised, I think I'll be back to running next week, but since I took this week off I think I'm going to re-do Week 3 and carry on from there since I basically have taken 2 weeks off. 
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever. - Since my body is sore, my "new" thing is going to be aquasize. It's not really new since I used to go to a different pool all the time, but it's a new pool with new people that I've never been to before so as long as Adrian is home on time on Tuesday I'll ask him to take me. If that's not possible then by the end of the week I'll try the Yoga that I had planned on last week if my back is a little bit better.

While this hasn't been my best week, or weekend I'm glad I'm not giving up and I'm glad it gave me the opportunity to re prioritize and figure out where i really need to be putting more of my energy instead of stewing in my own misery. 

I made it through the week alive.

     Barely, but still alive. I was doing okay and was trying to stay motivated and have my head in the right place until yesterday. I was getting ready to go shopping with a friend when I slipped and fell down the stairs had to call an ambulance and was strapped to a board for 4 hours waiting for an Xray to show nothing in my back is broken even though I knew it wasn't broken. This has seriously been the week from hell. I had the flu, fell down the stairs, and now I have a cold. I seriously am just so ready to throw myself in front of a bus and get out of my misery. Ok not literally, but still. I'm bruised and so, so sore. I have hardwood floors, and the ONE day I wear socks I slip and fall down the stairs. I seriously feel so stupid. SO.DUMB. I'm just glad I managed to crawl up the stairs to my phone since I was home alone with the baby (who was luckily asleep, and not in my arms as she would usually be.)

     So due to yesterdays accident I am bed/couch ridden which means my C25K and walking goal is on hold at least for this upcoming week. It sucks because I was so motivated and really trying to stick with it after I had the flu and now this. At least I'll be able to stick with the rest of my action points, I'm going to have to modify them this upcoming week though I suppose. I am hoping I heal up quickly, it would be easier if I could rest but such is not the case. I'll have to think about what I want to do and work on this upcoming week and post my Give Yourself The Best Gift Challenge update later tonight.

Glad that's over.

     So after a lovely birthday party for a friends little cutie on Sunday, Nina had full on flu Tuesday. Then I had FULL ON RAGING FLU FROM DEATH Tues/Wed and still feeling pretty sore today so I didn't do my walk or run but we're back to good health tonight and should be right back on track tomorrow. I have absolutely no motivation to actually do it but I can't get off track now... I just got on! It's easy though to let being sick really drag you down and next thing you know you totally lose sight and forget what you were working for.

     On the topic of falling off the wagon... this is the longest I've ever worked at trying to lose weight. It's usually a phase, lasts a week of two, if that. Then it's back to normal days. I've been logging on MFP religiously, every day, for 135 days as of today. I count that as my "actual" start day now. June 15th 2011. I started off slow, and I haven't always been totally on track but I've always been committed and I keep saying I'm having slow progress but slow progress is better then no progress. I am trying to balance eating what I want, with eating what I should and I've had good days and bad but since I'm nearly 20lbs down now I'll take  it.

     It's been a long, frustrating, and hard week. At least now it's half over. I just need to stay motivated!!

A few extras

     Besides my challenges, there's a few other things I'd like to do or pay attention to. I need to drink more water, for sure. I haven't been keeping up with that as much as I would like. Drink more water, and keep track of it.  I want to start sharing my daily/weekly exercise and calorie amounts/goals. Weigh-in once a week. As it is, I weigh myself several times a day and it's not helpful.

     I've been thinking of going vegetarian. I think it might be impossible though, since I love meat so much. I just wonder if there are health benefits after watching a show called Forks Over Knives it's hard to deny it, really.  I think I'll start with a few nights meatless and then if Adrians into it start doing it more often. I look him to a vegetarian restaurant ( Padmanadi's ) it was so good. If I could cook like that, I'd have no problems changing!

     So from now on Monday is for weigh-in, and posting my calories and water intake. There was some other things I was thinking of yesterday but they've slipped my mind for now but I think I have enough challenge this week lol.

Week 5, already?

     Wow, these last few weeks are flying by.  Here's my update for the Give Yourself The Best Gift Challenge.

•  will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptionsI. Bang. On. I stayed in my calories, and as for eating out... I'll post about that at my next point, since it was Octobers Goal to lose 5lbs and not eat out, at all.

• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month. Octobers scale goal was 5lbs. I don't think I'm going to make it but I've been doing so well with my calories, and burning a lot of cals working out so we'll see what the end result is, soon. I haven't been weighing myself and I'm thinking of making a mini goal for this week not to weigh myself at all instead of every morning. Good idea Sabrina. As for my October goal of not eating out at all.... this week I managed to avoid it! I feel like it's a major feat. It seems so ridiculous really, but I did it, and I am happy.

• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week. Yes!! Again!! So proud. I am starting week 4 of the C25K on Monday. I also did a 30 minute jog AND an hour walk with the baby today and I am aiming to do it a lot more this week while the nice weather lasts.

• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before. I honestly thought I had been doing so well with this one. Then I realized... I've lived here over a month... and the babies room is still all packed up. Not one thing besides her bedding and clothes were unpacked. Well minus toys but those aren't even in her room to begin with. Challenge for this week: Set up the babies room!!

• I will plan my meals in advance. Yes!! every day this week and I'm sure that's what been keeping me from eating out and staying in my calories this week.

• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever. I don't remember what I said last week, I'll have to go back and check it out but I'm sure I did it lol. Today I'm  making chicken Tikka Masala! So thats new. As for trying something new this upcoming week... let's go with...Yoga. Since all of my try something new's have been foods... I'll try a new activity this week. There's a yoga studio near my house that I might be able to make it to one day if Adrian gets off early.
• I will be nicer to my husband. Well, this was a disaster lol.

So, in summary this week I think I did pretty darn good. I'm excited for the upcoming week to do even better. What I'm going to work on this week is:

1.) Going to yoga

2.) Not weighing myself.

3.) C25K + 3, 1 hour walks.

4.) Babies room

5.) Not eating out.

6.) The last 3 lbs for my Oct scale goal.

It seems so hard, yet easy at the same time lol. I guess we will have to see how it goes.

Sabrina Vs. The Halloween Chocolates

     So far they've been winning. 50 calories/ mini chocolate bar...I haven't gone too crazy but I'd prefer not to be eating them at all. Damn them and their chocolately goodness.  Anyhoo, I started back on the C25K yesterday and tomorrow I will be finished week 3 but MAN do my lungs burn. I definitely regret taking that week off. I'll get over it though... and I'm back on track so I'm feeling pretty good still about the way things are going.  I just wish I could be more active... as dumb as that sounds. At our old place we had two pools and a gym nearby and I don't have that convenience here to just walk to the pool and have the privacy we did at our old place ( the pool was always empty, so I had it all to myself.) I'm not a very good swimming so I really liked that.

     I haven't eaten out at all yet this week which is my biggest challenge usually so this is the first week in as long as I can remember. I've been getting better at the meal planning biz, and even adding in some snacks when I used to just eat the 3 meals and I'd feel full in between but I think I'm getting better at evening it out and having some snacks in between so that's good too. What are your favorite snacks during the day?

     I feel like I'm not losing as much, or as fast as I would like to. while I do tell myself any progress is better then no progress I feel like I keep telling myself I could be doing better but not doing anything to change or fix the problem. I'll have to work that into my goals for next week and next month.

Oh! and if anybody uses MFP you should add me!  SabrinaK1986
   

Give yourself the best gift challenge, week #4.

     I wasn't going to do this right now, because I am hung-fucking-over, but I will cause it was a great week and this will be easy peasy.

Statement

By the end of this holiday season, I want to feel confident and happy. I don't want to have any regrets. This holiday season I want to give myself the gift of health, and weight loss, and to have the feeling of accomplishment.

Action points

• I will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptions.
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month.
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week.
• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before.
• I will plan my meals in advance.
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever.
• I will be nicer to my husband.

 I did everything minus the work out this week, I didn't work out at all this week. I ate out once this week too much is not good but better then what it used to be so again I'll consider it a victory lol. I'm down a 1, so 2/5 on my goal for Oct. Overall no complaints. been really happy lately!

Wait, what? I enjoyed shopping?

     Since Thanksgiving I've been feeling pretty in the dumps. I have a really hard time with my fucked up family and holidays reaaaally bring me down. I spend most of the day crying and then I feel all funky for a few weeks.  I was supposed to go swimming with a friend and the kids yesterday but cancelled due to being a sad asshole. In the end I decided to go to the mall anyways and buy some clothes for the baby, a little retail therapy.

     I decided to go to my favorite store and try on a few shirts that were on sale and I looked at myself and oh-my-god. I SAW it. I was thinner, i felt SO GOOD even in my least flattering jeans. I could see the difference and then I tried on SOOO many clothes then I made Adrian come with me when he was off work and tried on moreeee clothes. I even went to other stores.  I usually shop at Rickis because they carry from 0-20 ( or 18? I d k ) so I don't feel huge when I'm trying things on. I feel like I'm average, even though I'm not plus size. So I went to a few other stores too.

     I ran into a friend of Adrians who I hadn't seen in a few months and he even did a double take. I think he might have noticed that I lost NINTEEN POUNDS (!!!!) but he's a guy... and nobody wants to be THAT  guy who mentions a girls weight lol. When I met him I was 110lbs, and at my highest I was 182. As of today I am 163!! ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FUCKING THREE. I seriously just got right out of my funk when I stepped on the scale today. I'm tired of feeling sad over a bunch of drama. I'm losing weight to make me happy, and it's working.

     I've said it before and I'll say it again.. I'm so proud of myself. I'm glad that I've lost the weight obviously.. I'm glad that I'm sticking to it and I'm happy that I can make changes to make me a happier person and just get over it. Get over everything. Leave it behind like yesterdays weight lol.

Give yourself the best gift week 3

     It has been a crazy week. Followed by the usual weekend drama llama. Now I realize why it's so hard to stick to it on weekends... with my crazy ass family, and Adrian working 9-9 and home all day sunday it just throws off my weekend. You think we'd be in some kind of routine but these last few weeks are going by so fast. I didn't even realize it had been a week until it was time to update again.

Action points

• I will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptions. I'm not eating clean, per say. I'm eating better then before I find eating "clean" is much too hard for me. I'm staying in my calories though and we only ate out once this week. I did not stay within my calories that day lol.
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month. I already failed on my goal not to eat out AT ALL. Though I did cut it down to just once this week so hopefully the rest of the month goes well too. I haven't been taking many more pictures but I'm cooking a turkey today for thanks giving... There will be a photo lol. I'm also not down any of the 5lbs I was hoping for this month which is really discouraging.
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week. I BARELY made this one, but I did it and that's what counts. I'm starting week 3 of the C25K.
• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before.  I've been doing good with this still... mind you I was just in the kitchen thinking about how the dishes need to be done but decided to update my blog instead. Sundays are Adrians only day off, which mean it's my only day off as well.
• I will plan my meals in advance.  Bang on this week!
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever. I made won tons. NEVER.AGAIN. I won ton'd my hands numb. From now on, I'm buying them premade. They WEEEERRRE so good though.
• I will be nicer to my husband.  No arguments this week! Which is a win for us I think.

Give yourself the best gift challenge Week 2

Action points

• I will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptions. I've been doing really good with this. Next week will be even better.
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month. I didn't reach my goal for September (6lbs) but I did reach 5 and I'm happy with that. My goal for October is an NSV, and it is not to eat out AT ALL. This one is going to be so hard, I don't know why I have such problems with this. Also, a mini goal for this month is to take more pictures and post more pictures.
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week. I did not do this this week, I kept putting it off and by the time the weekend came it was hectic as crazy and my cats sequestered to the basement and it's quiet so I'm hoping this week is better. 
• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before.  I've been doing o - k with this. Just okay, I could improve.
• I will plan my meals in advance. Again, I was doing okay until the weekend. I'm sure next week I'll  be back on track. 
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever. This week I tried blueberry muffins. They were rock hard, and not very good. Next week I am going to try banana bran bread.
• I will be nicer to my husband.  It's been a stressful weekend, so I think I've actually done really well with this. We're dealing with a lot of guilt over what happened so we've really had to support each other so we don't go crazy.

Offical furmama to one handicat.

     Henrey broke his leg in 2 spots and dislocated his hip. Today he is a drugged up fat cat. Tomorrow, he'll be a drugged up fat cat minus one hind leg. Awful, awful. I feel horrible. I hope he heals quick and I am glad that he is alive but I'd hate to lose my leg, I can't imagine how he feels. The baby didn't nap today so I don't think I'll be able to get my C25K in but there's always tomorrow and Sunday. I ate only soup for the whole day so I'm under my calories...

      I just hope Henrey doesn't hate us forever. Diet and exercise is the furthest thing on my mind right now. My poor boy.

Today is a sad day.

     Adrian woke up at 8:30am to go to work, as usual. I was still asleep...as usual. Then he came in and told me Henrey had broken his legs and he had to take him to the vet. He took him to the vet and Henrey is sedated and it's only one broken leg. We're waiting to hear back about his X-rays and our...options.

My follwers are dropping like flies!

     I can't help but take it personally. :( Am I just not interesting any more?! I CAN CHANGE!!

Give Yourself The Best Gift Challenge Update #1

Action points ( Short versions)

• I will eat out less. - So far, so good. I ate out once, pizza. It was within my calories though and I did eat out... 6 times less... this week. Consider this a great start. I've stayed within my calories every day so that's good too. not always great choices but it's a work in progress.
• I will set a new goal.- My goal for September was to lose 6LBs. I'm unsure if I'll make it, but I've lost 5 already so  there is still hope!
• I will workout. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week.- WIN! Mega win! I have been working out 3 times a week and even then sometimes twice a day. I've finished my first week of the C25K, and have done some walking & joggings on top.
• I will be more (pro)active.  - Definitely doing much better from the start with this one. Much better then I thought, My house is unpacked. Laundry is done ( which I NEVER do) and generally in life things are much more taken care of.
• I will plan my meals in advance. - I have been doing it the night before ( which *I* do consider in advance.) I don't like to plan too far ahead because I never know what I will want to eat 3 days ahead of time. It's nice to wake up in the morning and not have to wonder what I should eat that day. I like having it there and I can tweak it as the day progresses.
• I will try something new once a week. - Peaches. No thank you. Next week: Banana Bread.
• I will be nicer to my husband. -I think I pass this one by default. he's been working late and he's gone when I wake up... and he's out of town for the weekend. 

Start weight - 165lbs
Current weight - 165lbs.

Week 1 down.... 8 more to go?

     So today I finished Week 1 of the C25K! It's the longest I've stuck with any program lol.  Also means that I am following through my with action point of working out 3 days a week. This treadmill is the best investment! I've worked out on it more times in the last week then I have gone to the gym in like the last 6 months, so it's practically paid for itself! It's so convenient and I love it. I feel... re-inspired.

     The news was WRONG. It's so not nice this weekend so I'm unsure if I'll be able to go for a walk through the river valley this weekend. I'll definitely go for a walk around the new hood today. Hopefully find somewhere more exciting to go then just walking in circles this time. Other then that life is good.

     I wanted to start making things like perogies to freeze but as MY luck would have it our freezer broke the day we moved in. The repair dude came today and said it would probably be cheaper to  buy a new freezer then to repair it. Either way it's fine we still have the freezer in our fridge. In my beautiful new kitchen omg I love it so much. It's definitely become the most used room in our home.

    Not a great photo, but you get the idea.

     My weight has been generally around 165/166 for the last little while and I know I haven't been giving it my all. I feel like I started so strong and started getting the results and then life happened and I put it on the back burner. I still am logging my cals, and now working out which I wasn't really doing before. I just need to make it a priority again. It's good. I feel good. I won't beat myself up about it... I can only carry on from where I am now.

Uh Oh

     So I did use my new treadmill last night, as well as went for a walk so that was good. I'm leaving it today though, I just have to much to do it's overwhelming. I'm hoping I get a shower before my mother comes over. I'm not looking forward to it, I want to cancel. I can't though. If I recall correctly this will be the first time I've seen her since Easter? Yup, she mos def hasn't seen Nina since she turned one. She lives 10 minutes away from me.  Anyways, my post isn't about that. I've planned my calories and everything looks good and now I'm cleaning and STILL unpacking and trying to get everything into it's place. It really is never-ending isn't it. This weekend will be good for food, but bad for unpacking and cleaning and working out since Adriano will be out of town and it will just be me and the baby. We will be able to get out for some walks though since it's going to be really nice. On my walk yesterday I ended up walking in circles for 45 minutes cause all the roads kept saying no exit so I had no where to go! I know I live quite close to the river valley, I'll have to make a point to go for a walk there this weekend!!

This just in: Peaches r nasty.

     DO NOT LIKE. Not raw ones anyways. Nina seems to like them though, she loves any fruit. I have a bunch of them so I'll see if I can make some kind of peachy dessert or dinner this week.  Also going to try and make banana bread. Thats TWO new things. Look @ me go. Maybe I should wait on the bread so I can use it as next months goal. (kidding!)

     I bought a treadmill today, so I have no excuse not to stick to my action point of working out three days a week even though my gym is SO FAR now. Well I better go set up my treadmill so I can get on it.

September

     Is coming to an end, I'm all moved and happy in our new house. As per my challenge, I have to try one new thing this month and it is going to be peaches. I probably should have had a peach sometime in my life, but I haven't that I can remember. I mean like a raw,natural, peach. I do love me some peach juice so I hope it's not gross. The fuzz freaks me out a little. I'm doing really well already (not just today but for the last few weeks) of being proactive and staying on top of things that need to be done instead of letting everything pile up. I find now I'm actually looking for things that need to be done. I think I gained a pound but I'm not killing myself about it. No guilt this time so I think I'm starting to get over it. Stocked up today on lots of good foods and looking forward to the weeks to come :)

It starts now.

Statement

     By the end of this holiday season, I want to feel confident and happy. I don't want to have any regrets. This holiday season I want to give myself the gift of health, and weight loss, and to have the feeling of accomplishment. 

Action points

• I will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptions.
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month.
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week.
• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before.
• I will plan my meals in advance.
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever.
• I will be nicer to my husband.

So far, today, so good. :) 

CHCHCHCHCHAAALLENGES

     Not a good week. Not a good week AT ALL! Finally moved though so that is ahma-zing. So happy. We also bought a new car so double happy! I'm getting a new treadmill tomorrow! TRIPLE HAPPY! I had tomato soup for lunch. Which is probably healthy considering all the other stuff I ate this week.

    Luckily, I start a new challenge tomorrow and I am super excited about the Give Yourself The Best Gift Challenge. I'll have to go back and find my post with my action points. It's a little hard now cause I'm posting with 1 bar of stolen internet. Here's hoping this post goes through right?! I'll do a proper update later tonight when I have some spare time.

Bad News Bears

     So we didn't get the car cause Adrians only here on a work permit. It's so annoying. He's been here since 2004, we've been married for over 4 years. I don't think he's going anywhere and even if he did he certainly can't take the car back to Africa with him so WTH guys! We will survive though, we just have to come up with another plan of action... which is just to buy the damn car with cash, and finding another way to build our credit.

     Enough of that bad news though. I have lost 2Lbs since my last weigh-in two weeks ago. While it's OKAY, I know I'm still continuing to make bad food choices regardless of staying in my calorie range. I have to buckle down and stop eating out!! It's difficult though with the craziness around here lately. If I can do it now, I can do it any time. Dooooooooooo it.

     So - interesting story. Two nights ago some guy knocked on the door and Adrian didn't answer but he wouldn't stop knocking so Adrians all WTF GUY?! and he's like is Shawn here and adrian said no and the guy was like r u sure?! Yeah... pretty sure. What the helllll... then last night some girl comes to the door and told us "theres some one out here trying to stab people, he tried stabbing my boyfriend and I don't want him to try to stab anybody else" Uhhh... thanks for the heads up?! I think? I duno... called the cops. Seriously cannot wait to move.

Oh Em Geee

     Having a fantastic week. As fantastic as a week can be by Wednesday anyways. Things are just crazy around here. I've been staying in my calories, but not making great choices. Who am I kidding? I'm not even making good choices. I'm not gaining, not losing as fast as I could be, not working out as much as I should be. I'm glad that challenge starts soon and I'm glad to move soon and things will just calm down!! We also spent yesterday car shopping. Since my husbando is an immigrant, we might not get approved for financing. That's not all true, it's not because he's an immigrant it's because he's not a landed immigrant, but thats a long rant for another day. Hopefully a new car today, moving on the 15th, then my sisters coming to visit and Adrians going out of town. It's really easy to get sidetracked and overwhelmed. I just have to keep my eye on the prize.

     I'm going shopping today, and since my gym is in the mall I have 0 excuse not to go. Adrians off at 3:30 so I can't even use the daycare is closed till 5 excuse. Since the mall is like 10 city blocks long maybe walking around it will burn a few extra calories too. I'm going to need it... I just need to pull through these next few days and I'll be okay. I haven't messed up yet, and i just need to keep my eye on the skinny prize.

The mystery of the vanishing shoes

     has been solved! They were hiding under a stack of unbuilt boxes in my dining room, a.k.a, packing central.

I'm walkin on SUNSHIIINEE O YA.

     I'm in suuuuuuuuuuuuch a good mood today. Which is fantastic cause when I left my house this morning I was anxious, stressed out, pissed off, tired, and overwhelmed and all i wanted to do was find my effing shoes. SRSLY, WHO LOSES SHOES?! Me, apparently. They were showing our unit today so I didn't want to stick around for that so Nina and I had to leave from 1-4pm. We went mall walking/shopping so I must have burned a ton of calories. Man is that mall big! I hate hate haaaaaaaate going to the mall on Saturdays but we had fun. I got myself a perfect cup from DAVIDsTEA and some new teas I haven't tried before. Nina got a cat shirt and some baby fuggs.

     We ate out for lunch I had a chicken quesadilla from Zellers restaurant.  I shared with Nina. Our waitress was a cow and I ended up complaining to the manager after I had sat there for 25 minutes and got a shit ton of attitude when I asked for my leftovers to go. Man, some people are just so rude. Really. You work at zellers so cool your jets and let me and my bb enjoy our meal. I ordered a new cell phone since mine broke, they don't make it in Fushia any more so I had to get graphite... OH! and I bought new dishes, and pillows. I feel better now though. 100%. Happy happy asshole.

     I have been wondering all day about the people who viewed our place. what they thought of our stuff. It's so weird to have to let people into your house when you're not here. I'm glad they didn't let the cats out of the basement though. nice guys. Okay then, I'm off to enjoy some tea tea tea tea teaaaaaaa. Lime Gelatoo.

Oh my.

     I updated my blogger interface today. This is going to take some getting used to, it's completely different!! It took me much longer then it probably should have to figure out how to even write this post.  I've been so wiped out the last two days. I haven't been able to sleep at all at night, and I tried napping during the day but couldn't sleep then either.

     I keep thinking of all the exciting things I'm going to make once we move. New recipes I want to try and all that good stuff. I'd do it now, but my lack of counters makes it nearly impossible. I can't wait to use my nice big island. I'm gonna make shit I have to roll out just cause I can. PIZZA?! SURE! RAVIOLI?! NP! PIE?! DON'T MIND IF I DO! Apparently that's all I know how to make that requires a rolling pin.

     I'm not doing so great at eating clean. Actually, I'm doing terribly. I've managed to lower my sodium from 2500mg down to 1500mg (the Canadian reccomended amount) but I'm still feeling like I'm not cooking as much whole foods as I should be. Using premade sauces n junk is just way too convinent for my family.  I'm staying within my calories with no problem though, and all my nutrients so as long as I'm sticking to that then I'm already doing better then I was before and eventually I'll be where I want to be whether weight wise or food wise.

     It's an ugly day again today. I'm pretty sure I blinked and missed summer this year. I'm going to make soup for dinner. I was at safeway and thought, oh I'll just get some sandwich meat and make soup and a sandwhich... well eff that. That shit is INSANE. Even the "natural" meats were 570mg sodium per 4 slices. Craziness I tell you. CRAZINESS. So I'm going to make some chicken salad. I also just realized we don't have any lettuce. I'll have to go back and pick some up.

     Now let's see if I can figure out how to post this bad boy.

Watch out Edmonton

      This mama is license to kill. Err... drive... with proper fully licensed supervision. Yay me? It only took me 20 years to grow the balls to do my Class 7 (learners) driving exam. It's a shame isn't it? Actually the only reason I decided to is the recent onset of weird bus phobia. I used to love taking the bus. Either way I feel like a grown-up now, and in 1 year I'll be showing off my new car, and hopefully a new bod. Things just can't get any better for me this year. Everything is just falling into place and life is *so* perfect. Eeek. Exciting.

     I started my cleanse Sunday, and I think I've finally stopped pooping. Good to know, I'm sure. I have killer heartburn though which had started to go away. The stuffed peppers I made the other day were A-MAZE-ING. As promised here is the recipe. Tonight I am torn between soup or stew and porkchops that King Adriano wants. Tough choice. It's so ugly out it's perfect soup weather.

     I've been thinking/trying to nap since Nina went down at noon and haven't been able to sleep. Lawn Maintenance just started a lawn mower right outside her window and do u think she could be bothered about it? Of course not. Man, I would love to be able to sleep like a baby. I wonder if there is such a thing as pork chop soup.

Joining a blogger challenge!!

     After my post about goals the other day, Ayla @ Life as a fat girl joined a challenge that I think ties in perfectly with my goal to set goals. Originally from *Less* of  Me, More of Him, the GIVE YOURSELF THE BEST GIFT Challenge.

"The point of this challenge is to be mindful all through the Fall and the Holiday Season ahead, be mindful of what you really want."

Now, as per the rules, I need to post my statement and action points. 

Statement

     By the end of this holiday season, I want to feel confident and happy. I don't want to have any regrets. This holiday season I want to give myself the gift of health, and weight loss, and to have the feeling of accomplishment. 

Action points

• I will eat out less. I will eat clean. I will make better choices when I do eat out. I will stay within my calories, no exceptions.
• I will set a new goal, either a scale goal, or an NSV for every month.
• I will workout. I won't depend on diet alone for weight loss. I will work out 3 days a week, whether it's 30 minutes, or 2 hours. I will commit to 3 designated work outs a week.
• I will be more (pro)active. I will do things. I will not procrastinate, I will do what needs to be done, as it needs doing or before.
• I will plan my meals in advance.
• I will try something new once a week. Food, recipe, activity, whatever.
• I will be nicer to my husband.