Since Thanksgiving I've been feeling pretty in the dumps. I have a really hard time with my fucked up family and holidays reaaaally bring me down. I spend most of the day crying and then I feel all funky for a few weeks. I was supposed to go swimming with a friend and the kids yesterday but cancelled due to being a sad asshole. In the end I decided to go to the mall anyways and buy some clothes for the baby, a little retail therapy.
I decided to go to my favorite store and try on a few shirts that were on sale and I looked at myself and oh-my-god. I SAW it. I was thinner, i felt SO GOOD even in my least flattering jeans. I could see the difference and then I tried on SOOO many clothes then I made Adrian come with me when he was off work and tried on moreeee clothes. I even went to other stores. I usually shop at Rickis because they carry from 0-20 ( or 18? I d k ) so I don't feel huge when I'm trying things on. I feel like I'm average, even though I'm not plus size. So I went to a few other stores too.
I ran into a friend of Adrians who I hadn't seen in a few months and he even did a double take. I think he might have noticed that I lost NINTEEN POUNDS (!!!!) but he's a guy... and nobody wants to be THAT guy who mentions a girls weight lol. When I met him I was 110lbs, and at my highest I was 182. As of today I am 163!! ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FUCKING THREE. I seriously just got right out of my funk when I stepped on the scale today. I'm tired of feeling sad over a bunch of drama. I'm losing weight to make me happy, and it's working.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. I'm so proud of myself. I'm glad that I've lost the weight obviously.. I'm glad that I'm sticking to it and I'm happy that I can make changes to make me a happier person and just get over it. Get over everything. Leave it behind like yesterdays weight lol.