Brace Face

     Thank you to eeeverybody, that commented or messaged me about my last post. I had no idea that so many people followed my blog that I didn't even know about. I appreciate everything that you had to say. I was really angry with myself but today I'm okay. I woke up excited and while I haven't been doing so well food wise lately I'm feeling better emotionally then I was that day and I'll get back  into the swing of things. I still am thinking about my game plan... what I want and need to do. I think Katy is right, I'm going to eat calories accoring to my BMR and then I am going to also carry on with my 15K/week challenge with Ayla. I feel leaps and bounds better and I want to say thank you to every one who follows me and definitely a special thanks to Andraea, Katy, and Ayla.  They seem to have a special knack for picking me up when I feel at my lowest with out knowing it.

     I logged everything on mfp and I was going to make my diary private, but I didn't. I even brought attention to the fact I went over my calories. I didn't know how people would react or what they would have to say but I felt like I needed them to know, I needed them to comment and acknowledge that they saw it and not just not say anything.  I don't know why I felt like that but people always comment on "good days" or when I log in for 285 days so I kind of feel like I needed to know what they thought when I had a bad day. I am happy that they seemed to know and understand. They didn't have anything rude to say just basically to pick myself up by my boot straps and carry on, but at the same time not saying that it was okay.

    I'm okay, I'm not doing well with food or working out. I had pizza last night and im going to have fries with my dinner tonight but I'm okay with this tonight. Tomorrow I'm sticking to the plan and going to start working on my 15K.  I'm feeling good about this week, and the future in general.

     I haven't come far weight wise, but my life, my attitude has changed leaps and bounds in the last year. Emotionally I have come so far and I can feel the difference. I love my life. I'm not depressed. I look forward to getting out of bed every.fucking.day. I feel better in my marriage and as a mother and as a person in general. I had a bad day last week, but the support and love I felt afterwards was something I didn't think I'd ever feel. I don't have much of a family, and I don't have many friends... but I am SO lucky, and so grateful for the people in my life. Virtual or otherwise. Thanks everybody!!

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