Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It's not good bye, it's see ya later.

     See ya later, food. I've been binging out of control lately and I cannot seem to quit. I don't know if its from being stressed or if my body knows I'm not going to be able to eat for days so I'm loading up as much as I can lol. I guess it doesn't really matter. After midnight tonight I don't know when I'll be able to eat again! After I'm healed life will be back to normal cause Satans leaving on Thursday. I'm having a really hard time keeping my cool these days and I keep snapping at her. Honestly, a month? Talk about over staying your welcome.

     Today I have all my calories tracked but who knows if I'll stick to them. I feel like I've given up but I know I haven't. I'm still mindful of what I'm eating and I feel guilty about what I'm eating but I feel like I can't get back to normal until she's gone! I seriously don't know how I could hate any body but after hearing the things she has to say it's like... how could anybody NOT hate her? She's a truly disgusting human being. I'm not even exaggerating. I get to hear such lovely words like "hoping for another tsunami because it didn't kill enough of the japanese people" It makes me fucking sick. Thinking about her just makes me angry.

     The plan for today is to clean my room, do my laundry, set up the TV in my room and clean my bathroom. If I'm stuck in bed for the next few days I want it to at least be comfortable lol. I even cleaned all my sweats and pj's so I don't have to worry about that haha! Bought a new nail polish too. It's going to be a great few days. G-r-e-a-t. I'm looking forward to the pain just because I can finally just be alone and not be bothered. Adrian is just great though. Last night he bought all of my favorite soups because he's a terrible cook hahaha.

Just a few...more...days... I want my life back :(

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